First, abovewavesofelectricwires = the state of being I try to reside in, put so beautifully into words by Dispatch. Give 'em a listen.
Now, where am I going, you ask? And when? Well, I do not know.
In January, 2008, I submitted the application. Delays and yadayada put me through the entire process in just over a year, finally receiving my medical clearance on April 9th, 2009 (two days after my birthday - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!). What an adventure that was. :/
I was originally nominated for Municipal Development in Latin America, departing late June, but was told on April 29th that I'd actually be going to Africa, early August.
I wanted to go to Latin America because I speak a lil espanjol, and because for some reason, the culture has always intrigued me - studied a lot of Latin American culture at good ol' yookla. Then there's that little bit of ANCIENT CIVILIZATION and the mysticism/perfection behind it that was a small draw, and the rain forest, and the equatorial/tropical climate (if I were assigned my dream spot, Peru/Ecuador)... and all the amazingness one could imagine (if one were me).
But Africa? Hmm... Africa. AFRICA. Doesn't it sound grand? Who wouldn't want to know what it was like to live in Africa? It helped when she (my Placement Officer) told me that the undisclosed country I'd be going to was a highly desirable assignment, and that the country and people were just THE honest beauty of the world. A world of excitement had just been thrust upon me, which took every last ounce of hunger right from my stomach. It was finally happening! I was going to AFRICA! Crazy/incredible/exciting/scary/OMG. My invitation is coming in 10 days, and that's it! Just a few months more and I'll be helping plan and implement water sanitation projects, marketing them to the community and getting them more involved, and helping with HIV education and prevention. What a difference I will make, in their lives and mine. I would've never dreamed anything so great.
Alas, it was too good to be true. The next morning, my first email said, "I'm sorry, Africa is no longer an option." GASP! What?! What does this mean? No appetite. Again. To add insult to injury, my gal in Washington (she's really very nice and helpful) is going to be out of the office until the end of May, at which time she'll be able to look at my paperwork again to try to fit me in Latin America, again.
*Try running a half marathon after all that emotional turmoil - no, really, don't try; it's awful.*
So I have some more forms to fill out, and you can bet they'll be the most consice representation of my "skill set" possible.
So, what do I gain? What do I have available to me to bring me out of my fear of never being able to go?
I suppose it helps to return to point. I want to help people. And, I just will have to trust that I'm going to be where I'm ultimately supposed to be at the time I'm supposed to be there. The world is not against me, and I have too much I'm just itching to give, for it to not work out.
In my time of waiting... and waiting and waiting... you all have been so great to encourage me and be excited with me. THANK YOU. I love you all.
